Thursday, August 8, 2024

8 THE STAR FEATURE • Thursday, August 8, 2024 @JamaicaStar www.facebook.com/JamaicaStar • www.jamaica-star.com Do you have a problem? Is something bothering you? Write to Tell Me Pastor, Dr Aaron Dumas, PO Box 188, King Street, Kingston. Tel: 876-929-1667-8; email: pastor@jamaica-star.com and dumas.dearpastor@gmail.com Dear Pastor, I am writing to you about a problem. I am 24. When I was 16, my mother left my sister and I with my father. She went to the United States of America. My father supported us the best way he could. He sent us to high school. My mother occasionally called us and then we asked her for her number. She said she was working with some white folks and they didn’t allow her to talk to anybody on the phone. So the only time we spoke to her was when she called. We found out where our mother was working and told our father. He got one of his friends to check out the address. His friend told him that our mother was living with a man. By the time he found our mother, she was pregnant and my father found out that she had divorced him, although he did not get any paper to sign. My father’s friend checked out everything at city hall and convinced our father that our mother had truly divorced him. My father got involved with another woman; she was about half his age, so we saw her as a sister. She treated our father very well and she handled his books because he was in business. When she moved in with us, we took turns to cook. But my father told her that she is now his wife, and he expected her to behave as his wife, so she should take charge of the cooking. That girl was very faithful to our father. My sister and I attended teachers’ college and we were proud to see this woman whenever she visited us. We encouraged our father to marry, and they did. They started attending church together. When we graduated from college, my father and his wife were there. After our mother realised that our father got married, she contacted us and tried to explain her situation. She said she wanted to stay in America, so her relative found somebody who was willing to marry her so that she could get her green card. But she still loves our father and her marriage is not working out, so she wants to come home. My sister and I recognise her as our mother, but we do not have any love in our heart for her because of how she treated our dad and us. My father says everything that he owns is for his wife and us. He has become a very good Christian. He no longer smokes, drinks or runs around. My sister and I have American visas. Our dad told us we should go and visit her for the Christmas, but we are not planning to stay with her. We are planning to stay with our aunt. When our mother got involved with a man in America, our aunt told her that she should not marry him. She promised that she would not tell our father what she was doing, but she did not listen. She still married the man. We will always love and respect our father. H.B. Dear H.B., Some women behave as if they are willing to sell their souls for a green card, so they get married. They don’t have to be in love with the person they are marrying, that is why these marriages do not last. Your mother abandoned your sister, your father and you. After the passing of many years, she is behaving as if what she did could not be avoided. She is talking nonsense. I cannot, however, tell you to hate her. But she should not expect your sister and you to embrace her without reservation. I am also very glad to hear that the woman your father chose after your mother left him, has treated your sister and you very well. She is highly respected by you and your sister. Your mother cannot expect to return to Jamaica and move back into your father’s house. Another woman has taken her place. So she should remain where she is and fight life there. When your sister and you visit America, make sure that you greet your mother with respect, but don’t sleep at her house; at least not on your first visit. Pastor “When our mother got involved with a man in America, our aunt told her that she should not marry him.” GREEN CARD MOM ABANDONED us for a